I can’t run! – So how can I do self-care?

I can’t run! 

Is so often what I hear ringing in my ears when I talk about self-care or coping strategies for stress (which by the way is self-care). This sentence and feelings behind it becomes an excuse not to do self-care. Now people do get clever and add “when I can’t run” or “if I can’t get a run in” or “I just can’t run so there is no point” and so many other versions. You may even be thinking of some now. Whatever you add to the line it still amounts to the same thing – an excuse!

Running – wait for it – is not the only form of self-care. Yes, I said it, yes, I mean it and yes, I believe it! Yet, for many it often becomes the focus, the fall back, the answer to all our woes. Now I maybe being harsh, and this may be due to the circles I find myself in. But I am sure you have all heard it or even believe it yourself. Most of my working life has involved the Armed Forces and of late the Royal Marines. Yes, I did serve, and I will put my hand up and admit I said some of the lines above and believed I was only truly taking care of myself if I ran. By the way if you see me run, you might see what a mess this is but, more about that at another time.

It seems we consider self-care as purely a physical thing. Each new year we are bombarded with ads about how a better you can be gained from becoming fitter, thinner, more active or running. Not only at New Year but whenever we see information about self-care, exercise is always mentioned. We are told the key to a better you is via exercise. Hey, you can even learn to run via the couch to 5km!

Now I truly believe physical and mental health are entwinned. But, and here it is, if you are wanting to take more care of yourself and engage with self-care then note what I said – physical and mental health are entwinned it is not just about the physical! In a balanced situation improvement on one side will improve the other side. I am not against people wanting to become healthier and fitter because whatever the reason it can only help. It is just not all about the physical!

Self-care is not about how far you can run and what size jeans you fit in. It is about you and how you are doing, and as it says it is about looking after you. For a more scientific explanation I like this one from BMI Healthcare:

“Self-care is just what it sounds like: taking care of yourself.

Self-care is the practice of consciously doing things that preserve or improve your mental or physical health”

What is self care and why is it important? | Health Matters | BMI Healthcare | BMI Healthcare

Yet we often focus on the physical first and the mental after or as a result of the physical.  Training or relaxing your brain similar to your body is just as important. It does not have to be meditation, though this is good, but it can be reading a book, learning a new skill, watching a film or laying in the sun and focusing on the here and now. For some meditation is amazing for others doing something is better. The focusing on a task means the brain has to concentrate on one thing, you create a focus and this stops the brain overthinking and in effect give the brain a rest.

Listening to yourself and what you body or mind needs is selfcare. That might actually mean you need to take a nap in the afternoon because you are run down. Okay, so not everyone can do that! But what about going to bed earlier, or giving yourself a caring routine. I know some of you will say but then I wake up earlier, you might but you might just sleep through. But I will miss so and so on the tv, ….. I am not even going to answer this one! I cannot go to bed before 9pm, I am an adult. So, are you listening to society or your body and mind?????? We fall into what we think is expected of self-care and this is easy to see when you are bombarded with ads.

Some of the everyday tasks we do are self-care such as cleaning our teeth, brushing our hair, having a wash, rubbing in our moisturiser, talking to our family and friends. These are all acts of self-care because we are taking care of ourselves. The fact you cannot run or do burpees (who can?) does not mean you cannot take care of yourself.

Taking it even further and starting to really know yourself is the next stage. Taking time for yourself and getting to know you. Getting to know what supports you and what you need. But be aware this can change from one day to the next day or from one week to the next week. One day you may need to go for a run but the next you may need to talk to a friend. Or you may need to sit and focus on a jigsaw puzzle and lose yourself for a few hours. Finding, knowing and being comfortable with you is the key. Knowing what yourself needs means you can put things in place to be a better you.

And if you do not know what works for you then learn about yourself and try something. You can use self-care books, websites, social media, tv shows or anything to gain ideas. Talk to family and friends to learn what they might do. You can even use professionals such as coaches, counsellors or therapists to explore your needs.

Learning what you need and putting it in place either regularly or in response to changes can only make things better for you. And you know what they may just be a run 😉

#mentalhealth #Selfcare #wellbeing